About two months ago I was lucky enough to marry the most beautiful girl in the world (depending on the world). No, seriously, she could be a part time model. Check out my Facebook profile for pictures. We were married in Los Angeles California’s Koreatown by our friend Leslie, whom we had deputized by the county of Alameda (that’s where Oakland lives). The vows below were those spoken by Leslie, Curi (my wife) and me.
Our Vows:
We are gathered here today, under the guise of a free buffet, to witness the marriage of Greg and Curi, and to share in the joy of this memorable occasion.
Marriage symbolizes the intimate sharing of two lives.
It is the development of a balanced yet dynamic relationship.
Acceptance and appreciation of each others individuality creates a trust that flourishes in the face of both sorrow and joy.
Deep knowledge of each others feelings can only develop fully with patience, caring and respect.
This understanding of each other can be the greatest and most fulfilling experience of your lives.
As humans, no other ties are more tender, and no other vows resonate stronger than those you now assume.
If you both keep these vows, your home will be happy and full of JOY.
Will you please join hands?
The contract of marriage that you are about to enter into is a solid bond for life, akin to the combination of water & concrete, hydrogen & oxygen or batman & robin.
Once set, this bond will be the foundation of the rest of your lives.
Greg, do you take Curi, to be your lawful wedded spouse and BFF?
Greg: I do.
Do you promise to love and comfort her, to honor her, to keep her in sickness and in health, online and offline, to be faithful to her, and to fix her computer should it break?
Greg: I do.
Curi, do you take Greg, to be your lawful wedded spouse and BFF?
Curi: Yes!
Do you promise to love and comfort him, to honor him, and keep him, in sickness and in health, to keep him well fed, and to remind him how lucky he is to have you?
Curi: I do.
I can haz ring?
Greg, place the ring on Curi’s left hand and repeat after me.
“I give this ring in token and pledge of my understanding of universal constants and enduring love. With this ring I thee wed.”
Curi, place the ring on Greg’s left hand and repeat after me.
“I give this ring in token and pledge of my ability to love you and cherish everything that you are to me. With this ring I thee wed.“
Now that you have joined yourselves in matrimony, may you strive all your lives to meet this commitment with the same love and devotion that you now possess.
By the virtue of the authority vested in me by the city of Oakland… Westside!
I now pronounce you partners in crime.
You may now kiss the bride.
As an added bonus, here’s my reception speech:
Good evening everyone. I’m so glad you could all come, I’d especially like to give a shout out to his honor, the mayor of Sunnyvale. It’s so nice of you to take time out of your busy schedule to come and see us.
If you know me, you know that this is somewhat unorthodox, but if you don’t mind, I’d thought I’d read from the good book.
Does anyone mind?
Great.
I’m going to open up to one of my favorite scriptures.
ISO 22,005: Requirements for Food Safety Management Systems, Principles for traceability in the food chain.
Oh. No? Wrong room?
(in Korean) shil-ye-ham-ne-da (excuse me)
(in Korean) An-yong ha-se-yo (hello!)5 steps to winning a Korean girl’s heart:
- Two words: Hello Kitty.
- Know your rice: Korean rice if far superior to all other rice.
- Know your citrus: tangerine, mandarin, clementine, yuzu, satsumas.
- Always remind her that she’s right.
- Always remind her that she’s beautiful.
(in Korean) kam-sam-ni-da (thank you)
